some know the pain

Heard this song the other day.

Sissy's Song. Alan Jackson.

Made me realize that others do share the same pain. For now, I have to take it one day at a time. Thank you Lord for making things a bit easier by blessing my life. I know that Mom is safe now. And happy. And most of all- she can breathe. "Praise the Lord my mother can breathe and she has no pain."

Home

After two wonderful months of being abroad, I am glad to be home. I must admit though, being in the house without Mom is very hard. It is quite a reality shock. I miss her. Sometimes I look in a direction out of habit to talk to her, and then remember that she is not there. After returning from Spain, pulling into the drive and not seeing her beautiful smiling face at the door was very difficult. I lost it. Cried in the drive for an hour. I couldn't bring myself to walk into the house.

Sometimes while I was in Spain, I thought about calling her to tell her about all the amazing things that were happening... and then I remembered- oh yeah. She is with me. But I can't call her.

Mom I miss you more than anyone could ever imagine. But I am happy that you are walking with Jesus. I love you Mom. I love you.

Amo Espana

I am back from Spain, but I have decided to return next week. Will continue to update the blog.

http://roadtosantiago09.blogspot.com

Spain

I thank the Lord that I have the opportunity to go to Spain with Alexa. And now... momma gets to go with me.

http://roadtosantiago09.blogspot.com

no ....

So many things creep back to me about that night. A nurse- no gloves. Blood everywhere. The transfer to the room- no oxygen (no one checked it). There is more, but it pains my soul.

to: momma

dear sweet momma.
forgive me for all the things in my heart that i am soo sorry for
forgive me momma.
thank you for everything.
thank you for believing in me.
thank you for encouraging me
you could have not loved me more
you sacrificed so much to make me who i am
and i know you believed in me
momma thank you for who i am
i owe it all to you momma
i miss you
i will forever miss everything about you
i love you.
i long in my heart and soul to touch you once more
all you wanted was to be loved
you are now forever loved more than you could have ever imagined
you can breathe now. and that satisfies my soul completely.
no more suffocating momma.... no more pain throughout your entire body.
my pain losing you... is nothing compared to the pain you lived
and b/c of that i praise the Lord that you are Home

thank you momma

God's Will

I never understood God's will for my life until recently. Up to this point, it just didn't make sense. But now I look back at my life, and everything lead me to this point. And I praise the Lord I was able to spend the past year with mom.