Don't believe in God?

Don't believe in God? Ask God if there is a God. He will answer you.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)

A little secret... the first thing He will tell you is He created the world, and everything in it. And what a beautiful way to begin a relationship with Your Creator.

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. (Genesis 1:1)

Jesus died for you. Accept His love. Accept the cross. Ask Him to be Lord and Savior in your life.

Oh Lord

Oh Lord! Oh my Sweet Lord!!!! I miss her so much! I miss her with my entire being! And I call out to you God. Please Lord, fill the void with your precious promise of love. I need you God. I need you night and day. I need you during persecution. I love, yet who can love me on this earth like momma did? There is no love that sustains, and embraces the spirit and soul, like a mother's love. Dear God, please! I don't even quite comprehend the love she had for me... and why she never challenged my rebellious nature. I can not quite comprehend that love, not having any children of my own... yet I know you still love me God. Despite my failures. And I know in my heart, my mother also loved me despite my failures as a daughter to her. Please forgive me Lord for not loving her back as she loved me. She often told me she prayed to you for a daughter to love... and yet her I was. The most stubborn, unloving, miserable daughter she could have ever had... yet you answered her prayer... but I failed her as a daughter. I failed her. I didn't hold her when she was dying. I didn't rub her feet. I didn't rub her hands. She asked me once, and I just couldn't do it. I tried... but I couldn't do it long enough to help her sleep. She was in so much pain, and yet I couldn't do it. And all my mother desired was love. She was the most loving person I have ever known... and I mean that. She laughed. She loved. She gave. She sacrificed. She was loved by many for her gentle, sweet, loving spirit. God please forgive me. Forgive me for not having the faith that you could have healed her at the time. For being negative. For being selfish. For being me. Please Lord forgive me. And if this message is read by anyone... please allow me to get this point across. We are living in a world that is all about "me, me, me." Everything is "selfies." Put down your pride for one moment, let go of your pain. Embrace your mother. Embrace the love that is from your mother. You will not know that love from anyone else. And if you think your mother isn't very lovable... b/c there are some mothers that perhaps are wrapped up in the world and can't love like they should... if you think your mother is not lovable... give in. Forgive her. And show her the love that she never showed you. By embracing her. Every single person in this world needs and desires to be loved. Everyone. Every single person. Embrace your mother.

Ransomed

Often, I would reach for the phone to call mom... and there is not a day that passes where I wish I could text her... or FaceTime her... we never had that luxury when I was on the other side of the world. And I wish we had. Yet... I know that God works for His glory, and if He is glorified in my mother's suffering and death, than I shall be content knowing that every moment spent was honorable. Even in her pain. On her deathbed, my mother reflected the love of Jesus. And she left that legacy of love in her children. She left that legacy of love to a lost and dying world, through us. May God bless you and enrich your life with love. And peace. And joy. Although I have loss... I have also gained... Gained an appreciation for God's will. And not my own. I don't reach for the phone anymore. I reach for my Bible. I call out to God. I beg for His mercy. And His promises, are just that- promises. Unending love. Amazing grace.

God Loves You

God loves you with a love you can never imagine. And although you might not understand His ways, He is still moving for His glory. It's not about us. It's about glorifying Him. As His Kingdom comes to earth. Prepare your heart. Jesus is coming soon. And He is coming for you. Accept His love, and His kingship. Accept Him as Lord and Savior. Let Him rule and reign in your heart. In your life. In the way you love others. Serve. Repent. For the kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

The Healing Power of Jesus Christ

Since the death of my mother, so much has happened in my life. My mother was my best friend in the world, and when she passed, I didn't know who to turn to except for God. And praise the Lord He was there for me. Praise the Lord I chose to seek Him, instead of my pain. Praise the Lord His love for me remains the same no matter my sin. He forgives- when we ask. The name of Jesus is a name I love to hear. I love to sing his word. It sounds like music in my ear. The sweetest name on earth. Praise the Lord we have a Savior who desires to be our best friend. And He heals. If we believe, if we pray and humble ourselves and ask for the Lord to heal- He will. He changes lives. The Lord's will is the Word of God. The Bible. The Lord heals the sick. Have faith. God loves you. And He loves that someone more than you do. Just imagine that love. Give God the glory. He is faithful to His Word. Honor Him in prayer. Honor Him with your life. And your words. God's love never changes. Expect miracles. Expect persecution. Expect blessings. An enriched life of humility and sacrifice and servant leadership. Blessed assurance- Jesus is mine. What a foretaste of glory divine.

Love

Love. All my mother ever wanted, was to be loved. All she ever did, was love. We all long to be loved. We all seek love. God is the only source that will provide the love we need. Love God. Love others.

All For Him

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

Philippians 3:8-11

Love life.

There is so much to life. So much. Live it. Love it.

Mom always encouraged us to follow our dreams. We did. Thank you mom for your love and encouragement and for believing in us - always. I miss you.

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad." Ecclesiastes 8:15

In the Beginning

Initially, I started this blog to comfort my mother because she kept insisting I go to Spain. I wasn't going to go- no way was I going to leave her. But I remember thinking if I made certain that everyone understood what needed to be done- they would understand her suffering. In the beginning, the first entries of how, I did not publish (until later). Now, I am so thankful I started and continued the blog- truly I am. My mother's suffering should not be in vain. She was the most loving, merciful and encouraging person I have ever known. I miss her dearly.

Momma- I love you so much. I miss you more than you can ever imagine. I miss your love. I miss your smile. I miss your voice. Oh sweet momma- you had the most beautiful voice... Thank you for your love- and sacrifice. You were one big bundle of love. Thank you for believing me and encouraging me and for being there for me every step of the way. Momma, I will take the strength that you have given me through your everlasting love- and encourage others. I will.

The Wanderlust Blog

We are re-launching our blog, The Wanderlust Blog, documenting our trip across Spain and previewing our book Una Vida, Un Camino: Camino de Santiago de Compostela, Francés. Check it when you can. Thank you for your time!

In Dedication

Our book, documenting our trip across Spain, is now available at the link below.

Una Vida, Un Camino: Camino de Santiago de Compostela, Francés


Momma, I love you. And I dedicate this book to you- and everything that you were, and all the good that remains on this earth because of your sacrifice and love. I hope that this book brings you joy. I love you momma.

Thoughts

I still often think of calling mom when something happens in life that I want to share with her. Reaching for the phone, I start to cry sometimes. And realize... she is living it with me now.

I love you mom. Always and forever.

some know the pain

Heard this song the other day.

Sissy's Song. Alan Jackson.

Made me realize that others do share the same pain. For now, I have to take it one day at a time. Thank you Lord for making things a bit easier by blessing my life. I know that Mom is safe now. And happy. And most of all- she can breathe. "Praise the Lord my mother can breathe and she has no pain."

Home

After two wonderful months of being abroad, I am glad to be home. I must admit though, being in the house without Mom is very hard. It is quite a reality shock. I miss her. Sometimes I look in a direction out of habit to talk to her, and then remember that she is not there. After returning from Spain, pulling into the drive and not seeing her beautiful smiling face at the door was very difficult. I lost it. Cried in the drive for an hour. I couldn't bring myself to walk into the house.

Sometimes while I was in Spain, I thought about calling her to tell her about all the amazing things that were happening... and then I remembered- oh yeah. She is with me. But I can't call her.

Mom I miss you more than anyone could ever imagine. But I am happy that you are walking with Jesus. I love you Mom. I love you.

Amo Espana

I am back from Spain, but I have decided to return next week. Will continue to update the blog.

http://roadtosantiago09.blogspot.com

Spain

I thank the Lord that I have the opportunity to go to Spain with Alexa. And now... momma gets to go with me.

http://roadtosantiago09.blogspot.com

no ....

So many things creep back to me about that night. A nurse- no gloves. Blood everywhere. The transfer to the room- no oxygen (no one checked it). There is more, but it pains my soul.

to: momma

dear sweet momma.
forgive me for all the things in my heart that i am soo sorry for
forgive me momma.
thank you for everything.
thank you for believing in me.
thank you for encouraging me
you could have not loved me more
you sacrificed so much to make me who i am
and i know you believed in me
momma thank you for who i am
i owe it all to you momma
i miss you
i will forever miss everything about you
i love you.
i long in my heart and soul to touch you once more
all you wanted was to be loved
you are now forever loved more than you could have ever imagined
you can breathe now. and that satisfies my soul completely.
no more suffocating momma.... no more pain throughout your entire body.
my pain losing you... is nothing compared to the pain you lived
and b/c of that i praise the Lord that you are Home

thank you momma

God's Will

I never understood God's will for my life until recently. Up to this point, it just didn't make sense. But now I look back at my life, and everything lead me to this point. And I praise the Lord I was able to spend the past year with mom.

listening

I have learned a lot about listening. And I believe completely that God talks to us through that "little voice" that we know is there. It's not a whisper, it's not anything physical- but it causes physical reactions. It's a feeling... and a thought- at the same time. It all comes at the same time. And as a Christian, I can react to it, or remain quiet. Unfortunately, I tend to remain quiet. When I knew in my soul that momma was becoming critical- and I had thoughts... I did what I could to follow through. But of course, I didn't do enough... and I think about those thoughts now and it all makes sense. God was trying to tell me... but I didn't listen and react like I should have. Why Lord? Why didn't you just slap me in the face? Why didn't you knock me to the ground so that I would follow through on what I knew you were telling me?

I praise the Lord daily that momma is not suffering anymore... that comforts my soul.